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28/3/99
War - the word carries so many connotations with it. For most of us it conjures up images of destruction, of suffering, of tragedy. Mingled almost inseparably with this is the heroic image of patriotic soldiers, brave deeds, and nationalist sentiment. The reality, I think, is never glorious, but only terrible.
For the first time in my life I am within a few miles of a conflict. The border of Kosova is only about 100 miles from where I am sitting at this very moment. For the past five days we have been hearing the NATO planes as they roar high overhead. According to the news this morning, 50,000 refugees are expected to cross the border by mid-morning. In northern parts of Albania, they have been able to see and hear the blasts of the air strikes across the border, and there have been a number of incidents of shelling across the border, although no casualties have been sustained.
Yet despite all this the atmosphere, at least in Tirana, is oddly quiet. Life continues as usual. There is a moratorium on flights into the country until at least midnight last night, and I expect it will have been extended for some time. They say that the bomb shelters are being cleared out, but I have seen no evidence of this. The only thing different than any other day is that the leke has begun to slowly fall against the dollar.
I do not know how long this preternatural calm will last. The refugees flooding into Albania may not remain for long in the north - by later today I should think they will be arriving in Tirana, although more probably tomorrow. Most, I think, are not likely to want to stay in Albania; they will probably get on the first boat to Italy. Certainly prices are likely to go up, and the tension level of the population will rise.
Of course my family is worried about us. In a way it is almost disappointing that there is nothing more exciting to relate! All we can do is carry on with our programs as usual. We are looking for the possibility of working with the refugees if needed, but I do not yet know whether emergency funding will become available. Indeed, I do not know whether or not it will even be necessary. A number of agencies are already waiting to pounce on new arrivals, and as they have already pointed out quite vocally, too many cooks spoil the broth.
The reports we are hearing are vague and horrible. There are reports of massacres, of men of draft age being rounded up and shot, of mutilations. Some of the reports, no doubt, are confused and exaggerated. Some may even be totally false, created as part of the counter-propaganda machine. But there have been too many reports, and too similar, for there not to be a germ of truth at the very least to the stories. It makes me sick to think that human beings can treat each other this way. Sometimes I think we are all animals which walk on two legs.
We are only at the beginning of this story. Things will get worse before they get better. Keep reading and I will update you on everything that happens.
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